You said keep the comments coming, so I am going to try. On the way to the playground with Mirany, good friend Elaine, Amelia, who she watches. Big snapper on neighbor's front lawn. I thought it was a lawn ornament till I saw the beady eyes and algae. Real thing. Momma turtle trying to find a spot for her eggs. Neighbor John comes over to give a science lesson. Yelling: "Don't touch that turtle!" on his way cross the street. Wasn't going to touch it, just looking real close, but OK.
"These things are prehistoric. Older than alligators."
"You wouldn't know by looking at them, but their heads extend as long as their bodies."
That's what she said?
"Pit bulls got nothing on these things."
"Went golfing with a guy once. Everytime he got near a body of water, he'd walk around, real slow. Then, if he saw a turtle, he'd smash it, right in the head. I'm saying to myself: What is this guy doing? Scar on his face, you know? Well, kind of like mine. But he's a young guy. Twenties. His brother says: "Snapper got a hold of him when we were kids. My Dad had to shoot him before he'd let go. Took off most of his left cheek."
"Now, she's smart. She's looking for the best soil in which to lay her eggs. Some people think they're being helpful, move them along, but they'll come back to the same place"
Elaine: "Do they have to get pregnant to lay eggs?"
This woman watches my daughter, if and when I work again, so this detail is relevant to the story.
"Now Elaine, this isn't sex ed."
To the playground, eat some wood chips, fall off the slide. Coming back. Neighbor John has a weedwacker and a colorful book.
"Now Elaine. Don't tell anyone where you got this. Sort of pornographic, but here's what I mean--"
Wood turtles, mating. Painted box turtles: mating. Snappers? Well, I'll be, head extends just as long as--
Worst day ever? Really? Worse than November of 1996? The day you went to paint ball for 8 hours and returned to find out that Copeland ate the last jar of your Mom's homemade salsa? I doubt it.
You are a day closer to day 14 on the horizon. Keep fighting, and staying away from the house keepers. Eat plenty of your drug soup.
Great turtle story!! I did once see two turtles mating, true story. In the water playing, chasing each other, and then they were stuck together. I did not get to verify if head extended as long as body or other parts. Interesting though. Show me hte pictures, so I can be convinced.
I did not reference 'cooter' with turtle, although red snapper comes to mind. I must have been thinking of something else.
Cooter on The Dukes of Hazzard came to my mind second.
Pseudemys. A genus of large freshwater turtles of eastern US. often refered to as cooters, which stems from kuta, the word for turtle in the Bambara and Malinké languages, brought to US by african slaves.
A bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the woods. The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, "Does shit stick to your fur?" A little confused, the rabbit replied, "Yes."
I guess I'd rather be a turtle. JAZ: I didn't have my camera phone with me. Hurt that you'd doubt my validity. I studied NONFICTION with Potter, left the lies to the fiction bunnies who giggled and sucked lollipops throughout the commencement ceremony. Truth. It's all about truth. And turtles. And hearing from our fearless leader. Chris?
For fun, you can google Dilaudid versus *fill in the blank* where *fill in the blank* can stand for heroin, oxycontin or really good veal.
The general consensus among most of the internet-active-opiate-addicted typists out there is that Heroin is preferable to Dilaudid, but only because it's cheaper.
I think people go to heroine because its cheaper than oxy. And veal. And less messy, when it comes to crushing, snorting, or inject ing. But what people do with their meat-- turtles included--is really their business. Drugs? Now thats everyones business.
I've heard that some drug induced hallucinations have people seeing dogs that aren't there. Seems like as long as its not a real dog, it might be worth cooking up:
Interesting that step one of the recipe is: 1) kill a medium sized dog. Step 2 is burn off the fur over a hot fire.
I don't have a lot of recipes that tell me to: 1) kill a medium sized cow. 2) remove hide and break down into steaks. But then again, I've never cooked dog, imaginary or not.
Why the worst? Does it help to say? Maybe i can get katie rose on the horn. The therapist, my lover. Hope i made you smile
ReplyDeleteYou said keep the comments coming, so I am going to try. On the way to the playground with Mirany, good friend Elaine, Amelia, who she watches. Big snapper on neighbor's front lawn. I thought it was a lawn ornament till I saw the beady eyes and algae. Real thing. Momma turtle trying to find a spot for her eggs. Neighbor John comes over to give a science lesson. Yelling: "Don't touch that turtle!" on his way cross the street. Wasn't going to touch it, just looking real close, but OK.
ReplyDelete"These things are prehistoric. Older than alligators."
"You wouldn't know by looking at them, but their heads extend as long as their bodies."
That's what she said?
"Pit bulls got nothing on these things."
"Went golfing with a guy once. Everytime he got near a body of water, he'd walk around, real slow. Then, if he saw a turtle, he'd smash it, right in the head. I'm saying to myself: What is this guy doing? Scar on his face, you know? Well, kind of like mine. But he's a young guy. Twenties. His brother says: "Snapper got a hold of him when we were kids. My Dad had to shoot him before he'd let go. Took off most of his left cheek."
"Now, she's smart. She's looking for the best soil in which to lay her eggs. Some people think they're being helpful, move them along, but they'll come back to the same place"
Elaine: "Do they have to get pregnant to lay eggs?"
This woman watches my daughter, if and when I work again, so this detail is relevant to the story.
"Now Elaine, this isn't sex ed."
To the playground, eat some wood chips, fall off the slide. Coming back. Neighbor John has a weedwacker and a colorful book.
"Now Elaine. Don't tell anyone where you got this. Sort of pornographic, but here's what I mean--"
Wood turtles, mating. Painted box turtles: mating. Snappers? Well, I'll be, head extends just as long as--
I have a good turtle soup recipe.
ReplyDeleteFYI. We call them "cooters" in the south. No shit, really.
Neighbor john said when you strip them down to make turtle soup, tbe heart keeps beating. True?
ReplyDeleteWasnt cooter a character on dukes of hazard?
ReplyDeleteCooter-tow truck driver in hazard county. Didnt he become a congressman?
ReplyDeleteNot in the show, but I think so in real life.
DeleteWorst day ever? Really? Worse than November of
ReplyDelete1996? The day you went to paint ball for 8 hours and returned to find out that Copeland ate the last jar of your Mom's homemade salsa? I doubt it.
You are a day closer to day 14 on the horizon. Keep fighting, and staying away from the house keepers. Eat plenty of your drug soup.
ReplyDeleteGreat turtle story!! I did once see two turtles mating, true story. In the water playing, chasing each other, and then they were stuck together. I did not get to verify if head extended as long as body or other parts. Interesting though. Show me hte pictures, so I can be convinced.
I did not reference 'cooter' with turtle, although red snapper comes to mind. I must have been thinking of something else.
Cooter on The Dukes of Hazzard came to my mind second.
Pseudemys. A genus of large freshwater turtles of eastern US. often refered to as cooters, which stems from kuta, the word for turtle in the Bambara and Malinké languages, brought to US by african slaves.
ReplyDeleteA bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the woods. The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, "Does shit stick to your fur?" A little confused, the rabbit replied, "Yes."
ReplyDeleteSo the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
I guess I'd rather be a turtle. JAZ: I didn't have my camera phone with me. Hurt that you'd doubt my validity. I studied NONFICTION with Potter, left the lies to the fiction bunnies who giggled and sucked lollipops throughout the commencement ceremony. Truth. It's all about truth. And turtles. And hearing from our fearless leader. Chris?
DeleteThe story I took at face value as good and true, but i didn't attend graduation, a nonfiction I am quit proud
DeleteFor fun, you can google Dilaudid versus *fill in the blank* where *fill in the blank* can stand for heroin, oxycontin or really good veal.
ReplyDeleteThe general consensus among most of the internet-active-opiate-addicted typists out there is that Heroin is preferable to Dilaudid, but only because it's cheaper.
How bout vs veal?
DeleteI think people go to heroine because its cheaper than oxy. And veal. And less messy, when it comes to crushing, snorting, or inject ing. But what people do with their meat-- turtles included--is really their business. Drugs? Now thats everyones business.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've heard that some drug induced hallucinations have people seeing dogs that aren't there. Seems like as long as its not a real dog, it might be worth cooking up:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.recipesource.com/ethnic/asia/filipino/00/rec0001.html
Interesting that step one of the recipe is: 1) kill a medium sized dog. Step 2 is burn off the fur over a hot fire.
I don't have a lot of recipes that tell me to: 1) kill a medium sized cow. 2) remove hide and break down into steaks. But then again, I've never cooked dog, imaginary or not.
deleted the first one thinking the link would work better the other way. but I was wrong.
Delete