Regrettable consequence of radiation and horse doses of Cytoxan: Mucositis: Inflamation and (counterintuitively) thinning of mucus membrane. Usually in the mouth and throat. Imagine gargling with napalm and then smoking the cherry end of a Pal Mal. (
In Hoc Signo Vinces). It is stout, persistant ouchy. Mine burned right through 10mg of oxycodone (liquid). So I was upgraded. . . to hydromorphone (Dilaudid-TM). It's a carbon chain or two from sister morphine, about 10 times stronger and (they say) not as addictive. Not sure how the less-addictive part can be true. If this stuff was around in 1865 we might still be fighting (and winning--nice profile pic CIP) the Civil War. How do you spell relief? D-i-l. . . you won't get much farther than that before you start running through poppy fields. Strawberry fields. WC Fields. Water Closet. Water is like so watery. Wet. Weeeeee. Lets get a balloon! Man alive is there better living through chemistry. DO NOT play with this one. Wait until you are in wincing pain, elsewise I think you turn into Whitney Houston. If you have some, throw it away or put in safe deposit box until your next hacksaw amputation.
The other thing they gave me is, no lie, Magic Mouthwash. Part antacid, part benedryl, part lidocaine (rhymes with?)
The white knight is talking backward, the red queen's off with her head. Remember what the door mouse said.
NOW i understand the horse/rabbit picture. It's secret is safe with me.
Feed your head.
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Seeing as no one has ponied up, I will comment. Though I must admit I am at a loss as to how to connect to the Magic Mouthwash. Except, what a great idea for parties. Maybe.
ReplyDeleteSo today my husband and I came home to a fully assembled swing set courtesy of a group called Mirany's Team--group started by a good friend to raise money for neuroblastoma research, and also, apparently, to buy Mirany a swing set. One of those hallmark moments. Mirany making the rounds, look: a swing: look, the slide: look! Some sort of climbing wall contraption. I say, "So I think what you do is--" trying to explain something to my husband in the way that wives do, not nagging but maybe over obvious. That was when my foot went through the bottom plank. All the way through. Like Jackie Chan breaks boards. Awesome. In that moment, I sure could have used some magic mouthwash.
cancer do-gooders my most/least favorite people. Least when remind me to get right with god or ask me if i've heard of the birch bark and fox urine cure. Favorite when they bring Pies and/or swingsets.
DeleteStuck on the question....keep thinking it rhymes with fidorain...but that's not a word ...but it would be a better way to say "it's raining cats and dogs"... which makes no sense anyways....
ReplyDeleteSo what does lydocaine rhyme with?
By the way, cats suck.
cocoa-caine
ReplyDeleteJust returned from the evening passeggiata (redundant to call it that, but when in the US of A...), which included a solar eclipse (a rare "ring" eclipse, or, annulus to our glabrous script-or) and, because I live in California (let me join you, team: sigh), a drum circle at our local park.
ReplyDeleteMy point being that the west coast slips ever into the sea, Potter-sur-drogue is still more interesting than the last 100 people I've met, and some among us choose to keep multiple placentae in their freezer without the intention of them ever ingesting. It's straight fucked up, she said, "straight fucked," as she reached for a quick second round of the Magic Mouthwash.
"cats suck"
ReplyDeletehave truer words ever been spoken? ok, exceptions - the more-dog-than-cat-cats: sophie, jarvis, raggs (1). by the way, cats come in at probably like my number 7 reason for not being muslim: that old rag about muhammed and cutting off his sleeve so as not to wake the cat when he had to go face mecca. pffft. seriously. no thanks. I'll wake a cat up something fierce. what are we talking about again? oh.
doesn't lydocaine rhyme with belushi?
uh, dilaudid dude;(.5) what's all the fuss about? a simple hydrogenated ketone. isn't that what's in oreos (TM)? better check if that's paleo man. anyway, i did a little snooping. turns out its also used as a cough suppressant, and often issued suppositorily (gross), so it can't be that big a deal. look, just sayin'. wait, says here that it was developed to replace diacetylmorphine (2). but yeah, like you say, less addictive (3). either way you should be fine. sounds like good news you've gotten to the bottom of that blasted (woolen masked) blair witch horse/rabbit thing. that's good work.
keep your mind strong like jimmy, we'll see you at the Belmont.
& shake well.
(.5) i am not afraid of a semicolon, even if i still don't know how to use them
(1) raggs is totally a cat-cat, but cool nonetheless, in a ruthless, hard-to-kill sorta way (1.1).
(1.1) not that i've tried
(2) sure, pharmacologically speaking that's historically been called "heroin"
(3) in the way that naughton shoots less (fewer actually) deer out of season now than he did in 1994. which is not to say, much difference...i imagine.
Funny how life bite's you in the ass...I inherited some of those watered down bottle of booze and no words needed spoken when the transaction took place...Phil knew.
ReplyDeletePull-up's thanks for the visual, as I read how your body is being ravaged, It is nice to see how strong you truly are. Also, I am a little jealous because in order for me to achieve the same pose, I would need a harness, two spotters, and a hydraulic lift of some sort.
As my in-laws informed me of the results of the horse race this weekend, all I could think of is a passed out, sun burned man laying next to a cooler that only contained only his JV camera.
Cat's do suck, I do offer extermination services...his name is Mik.
If memory serves me, isn't Dilaudid what Wyatt Erp's first wife/girlfriend/slampiece used as a "sippy"?
Funny Nate commented on deer management, I'm consindering a comeback. I just got a new .223 that is quite a tack driver, I shot a carpenter bee at 200 yards the other day...now I understand why the military snipers use this caliber. Hopefully this fall it will be Jerky, bologna, and venison sticks for all my men.
CJ, I may call on you to officiate the jerky process as I know you have already successfully processed and consumed a satisfactory batch.
Magic Mouthwash...Serts do I have something for you!
Laudanum was the tincture and it's pretty close
ReplyDeleteI'm the best jerky maker you know and happy to help
The sunburned man was also celebrity wet-teeshirt judge.
Way to always get semicolons right? never use them. They demean both writer and reader.
I love semi-colons. Didn't know what one was till Hopkins. Semi-colons go well with troubled thoughts, late night writing, and magic mouthwash. I stand in defense.
DeleteI have a bunch of comments on your claim about being "the best jerky maker", but none are fit for publication; even on the web.
DeleteMagic mouthwash, what a quandary-do you drink it, gargle with it, inhale it, rub it on like a lotion, take intravenously, or insert rectally? Is it magically delicious?
ReplyDeleteI was thinking lidocaine rhymes with xylocaine, it is just some C14H22N2O.
Don't take that crap Potter, it says it is generic Maalox, tell them you want the top shelf name brand stuff, nothing elsse.
I think you are feeling the side effects-dizziness, drowsiness, confusion, and visual disturbances. Or was it the Pal Mals? I thought they were Pall Malls? But I am not a smoker.
Take care of the Mucositis and lay off the butts. I will keep my Whitney Houston comments to myself. More pull ups!
lay off the butts.
ReplyDeleteThat which we cannot speak about we must passover in silence
JAZ, i mean this with love in my heart: youre the only one i know who could take mouthwash as a suppository. But you are correct: Pall MALL.