T-7

Not the sorta day you'd want to do without your wife.  After my 8am brain bake my skin turned green and my physique tumescent. And I went deaf.  Waited around  for my 13:00 check in.  Did check in and then waited for six hours, only two of which were in a hospital johnny.  Not the lavatory, the silly things that let your backside get lots of wind and generally have the dignity of a bird shitting on you.  But hey, they only shaved my chest once.  Man-scaping I think it's called.  Got two Hickman catheters, that's four direct lines to the superior vena cava if you're keeping score at home.  Got to my room (7B-32 Brigham and Woman's Hospital) and they checked me for contraban, wiped down all the legal stuff with super special disinfecting wipes, and sent the guns and ammo back.  Had a last meal of seven loaves and two fishes, no wait, wrong meal.  Roast beef sandwich with lettuce.  Last time I get lettuce for many months.  Room has TV, DVD, Fridge, and more latex-free gloves than you could use in lifetime of rectal exams.  Thankfully, they have other designs for them.  In the days to come:  more Incredible Hulk time.  Then the chemo hammer.  Wish I had a picture of Heather jamming into a revolving door compartment with me at the last second, other than that she was very helpful.