teach a man to fish

I mean who really cares what I did for exercise today?  Or yesterday.  Or tomorrow.  A couple months ago? Sure.  Bless you all for being interested in my recovery.  But at some point we should just say "recovered." For most intents and purposes.  But I like hearing from you.  Kinda addicted to it actually.  I said I'd blog for a year and we're pretty close.  Gonna try to keep going but something's gotta give.  I've scared off or bored too many.  Maybe they'll come back.  Maybe we'll go viral.  Maybe Hollywood will call.  here is your last WOD.  I'm through posting workouts.  This is the last one.  Not saying no more exercise talk.  Just no more wod mail.  A template, if you will, of the next 12 weeks.  A little Westside, a little oly work, some gymnastics, some strongman, some wods, some Xfit. I can't really claim that this is the ONE path.  But I think it promises to be a good one.  It's not a stab in the dark.  It's the culmination of a couple years of training, experimentation, success and failure.  Huge citation to Matt at Chupacabra.  He's pretty insightful. And relentless in his search for virtuosity.  This is his handwriting but it's a conversation we've been having for a long time.

so give it a try:  add/delete/amend/abandon/ignore (or dont try).  adapt. improvise. overcome.  You're an adult you can take responsibility.  You can work at it.  You can improve.  Ask questions.  Let me know how it goes.  If you don't dilly-dally I think these can all be done in an hour. a huge upside in my book.

MONDAY
max effort squat.  get 3 reps at 80-90%. or set a pr.  Make it heavy.  Change the squat variation every week.  Some weeks do deads.  Some weeks do good mornings (3rm)  All sorts and styles and varieties.  make it heavy, physically and emotionally.  at least 3 reps north of 80% known pr.  if you can help it try not to miss.  sometimes you cant help it.

Do some assistance exercises.  Address your weakness.  Low back, hams, glutes, hips, mid back etc.  Think: DB lunges, reverse hyper, pistols, GHD raises.  Attack your weaknesses.  Do it like this: 10 x intervals. 15-20 seconds work, 20-40 seconds rest.  make it hard.  Don't be a bodybuilder, but build your body.

conditioning:  hard, fast, simple: 12min tops.  sled drags.  light non-stop squat cleans.  sprint repeats.  hard fast simple

midline:  GHD, L/tuck-sit, hollow.  Change it up.



TUESDAY
30 minutes of gymnastics practice.   You know what gymnastics are.  practice them.  methodically.  quit dicking around.

conditioning: rowing intervals.  min 2K - max 5K



WEDNESDAY
max effort bench or overhead.  Mix it up.  Change the lift.  Any bench, any overhead.  3 reps at 80% or above.

Assistance work:  shoulders.  10x intervals, like monday but shoulders, upper back, tris.

Conditioning: 8-12 minutes:  burpees, box jumps, or double unders.  Or all three.  see how many you can do in a period of time and then try to beat that number.  Like when you stuff envelopes.

Midline:  t2b, kte.  pick one.  5x max UB sets



THURSDAY
rest (or rest Tues and practice thursday)


FRIDAY (pay attention)
Dynamic effort squat.  The lift you did monday: do it fast with cut weight.  add bands or chains if you can.  Try to mini-cycle the %'s like this: 50-55-60+25% band/chain resistance.  go fast build force production.  12 x 2.  IN RE: the bands/chains: don't freak out if you dont have them.  They're worth it, trust me, but dont spend tuition money.  They're like extra 2 tbs of butter.  You're still good w/o, but so much better if you do.  Either way, work on being fast.  Remember Louie's parable of the baseball? Throw a wiffle ball, baseball, shot put at a window.  which one breaks glass?  Wiffle not heavy enough to be forceful.  Shot too heavy to be speedy.  throw(lift quickly) the baseball (properly weighted barbell).  Break glass.

Dynamic effort deads.  similar weights 10 x 1.  switch your grip: clean and snatch

Assistance work:  like monday, but different exercises or the same ones.  work hard.

Conditioning: stones, prowler or kb until gassed then 2 more minutes just to be sure


SATURDAY
rest

SUNDAY (pay attention to this too)
olympic lifts:
snatch then clean: 8-12  singles at 60-85%  no more than 45 seconds rest.  faster if you can.   start with 12 @ 60%.  Percentages go up each week, # of sets goes down.  after 6 weeks, retest, use your new pr to refigure %'s  start at 12 @ 60% again.

midline: GHD, HOLLOW, L-sit


Right now im at 215 squat (probably more), 175 c&J, 150 snatch, 215 jerk, 7:47 2k (maybe better).  Retest in AUG.  let you know.  Please do send us your totals whatever they are, following along or not (control group?) and we'll see who can make some gains.  Make a video, send it to me.  Type out a comment, post it.  The world is full of paper, write to me*


make sense?  Excelsior.

Look for new content on the Ides

Wild dogwood

*Agha Shahid Ali

can't clean the door unless you can clean the door

JZ, sometime blog troll, current resident of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and currently wrestling heavyweight for Montgomery, left in my care: '04 Yukon Denali (1)with "competition grade" sound system (1), BFN enclosed trailer (1) with 250lb drivable tailgate that is rendered less than perfectly operable (it's free swinging now) b/c said owner cut lift cables to see just how much vehicle his vehicle carrier could carry.  The trailer contains:  A 1970 Chevy (1) with a 454 big block that sounds like a deep woods bengal tiger and makes your molars jiggle when idling. 2002 Harley Davidson Fat Boy (1) sounding even better.  Expensive ass Snapping Turtle tire straps(4) wheel chocks (2) a car cover (1), sundry tools, receipts, old coffee cups, boxes and a three year old random Washington Post. (?) [But DOES NOT CONTAIN a dual-axle pickup.  Those are just too big.]  The above are located in a nice towing package at an RV storage yard in an undisclosed location close to my home in Lancaster.

I have permission from the state of pennsylvania  and the owner to ride the motorcycle and intend to do so.

SO:  go to the yard with spouse who currently deadlifts 238.  Bring along a jumble of keys big as a baby's head.  unlock, enter yard.  Unlock, enter trailer.  Chevy.  Ignition.  Fail.  No problem.  Open very heavy free swinging door, coast car out the back.  back into trailer.  Start motorcycle.  Motocycle fail.  Gosh it's hot.  Neutral walk motorcycle out.  Find jumper cables.  Jump start motorcycle with Volvo grocery getter.  motorcycle roars to hog life and makes at least one person smile.  Next jump start Chevy.  No joy.  Chevy not in the mind to jump.  Hmmm.  Impossible for one or maybe even 10 men to push Chevy back on trailer.  Spouse has work to do. And a toe to tap.  Leave neat towing package all undone, Denali blocking others' egress from park. (if you're not camping today you're not  camping today.) Drive Lancaster county backroads in GLORIOUS spring afternoon.  Seriously a day like CHROME.  Go to OTB, place losing KY Derby bets.  Ride home.  Puma Suedes and american iron, pretty much coolest thing in the time zone.  Bonus: New curly hair all mussed by the wind.

Back to the yard with a friend.  Try to jump Chevy again.  NO LOVE.  No chance of pushing it up tailgate.  New Plan:  push/move Chevy along side trailer, return trailer to slip, opening up passage to yardmates whoever they are.  24 hrs elapse.  during which Chevy owner passes along helpful tip that the starter is fussy.  Im not losing, im just behind.

Take boy to "see JZ's Chevy"  Try the Chevy with new tip from owner.  Jumps to life like Steve McQueen and tickles the boys in the front to no end.  High fives, fist bumps, country hollerin'. Whoopin and Hollerin'  Hop out, drop down trailer door. Hop in drive Chevy up the ramp.  Sit in front seat, rev engine several times, mentally account for all 454 cubic inches, think about molars shaking  Ignition off.  Everything set, out the trailer...

The tailgate.

Cant be done one-man.  Boy is willing and god forgive me i think i considered it for a flash.  NO.  NO NO NO NO.  8yr olds cannot help lift 200lb doors.  Their mothers get very angry.  DAMN.  Now what?
Dad, how many cars does Jimmy have?
I don't know a lot.
First attempt: okay grip, pop the hips, shrug, no.  No that's not gonna happen.  Tailgate back to gravel.
Dad, why did Jimmy cut the wires to the door?
He shoots first and asks questions later.
Shoots what?
nevermind
he likes to do crazy things
yeah. backwards anyway.
Dad?
Hold on, bud.  Attempt 2: more hip. better shrug.  almost get one hand turned under waiterstyle.  a glimmer.  but a fading glimmer.
Dad, it's too heavy.
You might be right.
Why does Jimmy like chevys so much
he just does
is this the two tone or the Aztec silver
what do you think?
well the chrome is silver
chrome is chrome.  paint is paint
this is the two tone.
there you go.
I thought it was De-nah-li.
what?
you say De nal ee.
do i?
dad, what's the matter?
Attempt 3:  set your back, from the low hang, big jump. to the CHIN!  Hands under "GO DAD!"
walk it home.  Lock it up, back it in.  Think about letting the boy drive home, decide against it.

Stop on the way for motorcycle battery charger.

Merry May

a)
Every 40 sec for 4 min: 1 power snatch+2 snatch grip push press (as a complex) at least 80%  (Im gonna try to be at 120-125)

Every 40 sec for 4 min: 2 power cleans+1push jerk at least 70% (Trying for 135)

3RFT: 400m/10 thrusters 115

Rest 10 minutes

10min max distance row


b)
7x1 2 position clean (floor, 2" above)+1jerk, heavy as you can get.  60 sec rest

4x3 clean 1st pull w/3 count pause at knee. 60 sec rest

4x4 1.25 front squat heavier than last time 60 sec rest (hoping for 150-55)

6 rounds for total work time: row 20 cal/15 burpees.  In rounds 1-3 rest 1:1, in rounds 4-6 rest .5:1

3min max #250 sled drag

3x8 GHD raise
3x20 reverse hyp

disturbin' the peace!

Ludacris show Fri night.  Felt more like a chaperone than a patron.  As Luda himself told us several times, there's [sic] just too many hits to choose from.  But could a casual fan be forgiven expecting "Saturday?"  Puma suedes, of course.  Red hoodie, natch.  Saw not a little bit of bumping, grinding and backing it up. Or as the prudish say, frank depictions of the sex act.  Indeed, how low can you go? Oh and fair amount of skin:  it seems lace and "muscle" shirts are making a comeback.  And just guessing: carbohydrate sources abound in the Millersville U chow line.  That sounds snarky but one dear needed help getting out of the bottom of her squat.  Lost lumbar curve, totally quad dominant.  I'm concerned for their safety.  Or maybe just 40.  (+) When I move, you move.  Just like that.

Next three:

1)
7x3 banded (speed) deads 75%+25%
7x3 bench heavier than last week
10 min 3xunder and HS practice
10min AMRAP: 10 pull ups/15 hp snatch #75
20 pushup

4x500m row  1:2, 1:1.5, 1:1


2)
15 min 1RM snatch, 15 min 1RM C&J
1x20 HBBS heavier than last week, ass to ankles (if you have said range)
"Amanda" 9-7-5  muscle up/squat snatch (135 is rx.  I'll probably be at 115)

4min max 200# sled drag


3)
7x1 2pos snatch (floor and 2in off)
5x3 snatch 1st pull w/three sec pause at knee, heaviest possible
For time: 30 push press 135/30 box jump 30"/30 CTB/30 HSPU

3x20 Reverse hyper
3x25 UB GHD sit

pawned my Smith-Corona

3x-2x

Outlaw goes 3 on-one off-2 on-one off.  I like the reliable rest day so I'm gonna give it a whirl

the next two (Fri/Sat):

1) EMOM 7min: 1 power snatch 80% + 2 behind neck push presses w/snatch grip (can rack)
EMOM 7min: 2 power cleans (touch and go) + 1 push jerk 70%

20 wall ball/40pullup/20wb/40boxjump/20wb/40ringdip/20wb/40kb 1.5/20wb

3RFT: 4 rope climb/12 push press 95/16 GHD sit


2) 7x2 High hang clean + jerk  heaviest possible 60 sec rest
4x3 clean first pull, heavy  60 sec rest
4x2 1 1/4 squat heavier than last week 60 sec rest

4min max sled drag 200#

3x10 GHD raise
3x10 reverse hyper

Links you may find edifying:

Whole 9

Taubes

Sugar

Snack foods

Sweet Tooth

Come on gimme some a that novocaine, come on gimme some a that novocaine, keep the sugar comin' through a candy straw, I don't wanna feel no pain.

RED BUD!

next three:

!) 7x3 banded deadlifts.  50%1RM bar weight+20% band "weight"  60 sec rest
7x3 Bench, work up to 3RM
15 min double/triple under and Handstand practice
5RFT: 25 split jumps/5 power snatch/25 hand release (HR) push ups
4x500m row with work:rest ratios--1:3-1:2-1:1

@) 15 min 1RM snatch
15 min 1RM C & J

1x20 HBBS (70% or thereabout)

1 up to 5 muscle up/10 to 2 even reps ascending C&J (95-105-120-135-150)

21-15-9 1.5 KB/row 500/T2B

#) 7x2 hi-hang snatch heaviest possible
5x3 snatch first pull, heavier than last week
5x3 tempo HBBS @ 75% 60 sec

40 burpees/50 DU/30 burpees/50 DU/20 burpees/50 DU/row 1K

3x3 BB TGU (weighted 55-75) 45 sec
3xME UB T2B 45sec

heart attack

when I paint my masterpiece

Next three will look something like these.  I like to have more planned than I can typically do.  I like options.  And I like some organizing structure, theoretical framework.  Variation is key and routine the enemy, but total randomization isn't all that effective.  This may be a short-lived experiment if Im posting these just for Cope.  He can bookmark some sites and we can email.  In truth the time of the blog may be waning.  Or maybe we will shed a skin and emerge something different.  happy to hear you thoughts, eulogies, cheers, boos.

1) 15 min to establish 1rm C & J.  15min 1rm snatch.  5x 50% snatch EMOM 10 minutes. 21-15-9 OHS 95/pullups

2) Every 20 sec for 4 minutes: C & J 75%.  EMOM 8min: C & J 85%.  Back squat 3x3 85%, 2@90%, 2x2 95%.  1min ME UB 2pd KB--3x 3min AMRAP with 1 min rest: 7 front squat 70%, 100m row, 2 mu's--1 min ME UB KB

3) 7x1 two pos snatch, 7x1 two position clean.  Heaviest possible with good technique.  Tabata row for calories. 12min AMRAP BB TGU

Here's to KME's pull ups.  Here's to lut and nate and pilch lost at sea. . .  Naughton got knee overhauled, only a matter of weeks (and weeks) now.  Totally went whole hog with nutrition lately.  Zero sugar, 10g or less Carbs for two weeks and running.  HG PR deadlift last night: 235.  My chick 'hood.  Give us the news

We don't need no stinking patches.

A) Jorge:  30GHD sit/15 squat cleans, 24/12,18/9, 12/6, 6/3 (on 4/8/13)
rx'd was 155, which for non-scalers would be plump but not too big to get your arms around.  That weight for me was probably 125 or so.  I did the wod at 115 and have no regrets.  Could have done heavier but it would have been slower.  Been working GHD's so they were a nice distraction.  Sq cleans were a real inducement to breathe.  13:13

B) Max power snatch. 135.  only a week ago this was max snatch at the very bottom.
EMOM, 10min: 5 power snatch 70#.  probably should have made these squat snatches.
10min handstand practice.  Took couple days off, travel, fishing.  Felt good.  Today was easing back into things, while also beginning to figure out new training template.  It could be several days until i get it sorted out.  Experimenting with a couple things (Outlaw, HD&CC, Westside, CFFB and the ultra novel idea of programming for ourselves.), will keep you posted. I believe my emphases in the coming weeks will be olympic lifts and gymnastic work, sub 12 min scorcher wods.

C) Hang snatch doubles from blocks, snatch high pulls, snatch balance, on the min.  GHD work.  TGU work. (yep)  5mu/100m row------down/up to-------1mu/500m row.  21:16.  So much for sub 12.  Sometimes the only way out is through.

I'm looking through you

A) For time: press 10/OHS 15/push press 20/front squat 25/push jerk 30/back squat 35  all with #115 barbell.  Thought about taking some weight off.  Did not, with the goal of no more than 2 sets per exercise.  Unbroken presses and almost OHS.  It fell, I didn't put it down.  Push presses and FS's were in two sets and only 7 minutes had elapsed.  Jerks came in 5's with lots of misses and a fair amount of distress.  Back squats in two sets but they were slow and Im still sore.  16:03  Terrific workout.


B) For time: row 1KM/20 GHD sit/row 750m 40 T2B/row 500m 60 sit up
all my rows were sub 1:57 pace.  Probably was a little too relaxed in T2B but im cycling them better. This felt much faster than the shoulder madness the day before but the clock said it took longer.  Still feeling the GHDs, probably b/c we did a tabata set (score: 8) to finish the training.  18:25


C) 4min AMRAP:  15 #100 thruster/15 C2B pullups.  Having a most recent Fran (90 reps) time of 9+ minutes, I thought that 50 reps at a higher weight and much tougher pull up in (less than) half the time would be irrefutable progress.  So that was my goal.  Sets went 8-7/8-7, 5-3-2-5/4.  Not doing 5-5-5 in the second set of thrusters (as planned) was a huge drag on my score and psyche.  Got no-rep in my final, and 20th pull up.  did another that didn't beat the buzzer.  49.  wow. Awful.

I can't do what the big boys do.